Tuesday, September 14, 2010

"G-ma" is me

I am "G-ma". For now, anyway. Steve (my son) and Sandy call me both "G-ma" and "Jamma" rather than "Grandma". I like that! Most of all, I love with a passion the fact that I am a grandmother. I never especially wanted to be one - didn't want to feel 'old', even though the years don't lie. But, darn it! I LOVE being a grandmother. What changed me? Jace. My grandson changed me, of course.

My grandmother friends have all told me many times that there is nothing like it. They have all been - and are - blissfully happy in the role. There was no way to relate to that happiness, however. Sure, it's great. You have a grandchild. He/she is adorable. That's as deep as it went. I couldn't enter that realm until it really happened to me.

Now I am a member of the club. Now I feel what it is they were talking about. I can totally relate. It is a heavenly gift. It is unvarnished love - on both sides, the giving and the receiving. It is unexplainable. It is a wonderful thing.

I'm not trying to be secretive. It's just impossible to explain how I have been changed by this little person who has entered my life. It's very different from being a parent, and not because 'you can spoil them and send them home'. That's not it at all. Maybe it's part nostalgia. I am so much back in the space I was in when I was a new mother...and yet it is different.

I love being G-ma.

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